


It's a Difficult Life

by timelordangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Protective Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelordangel/pseuds/timelordangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is an honorary Winchester now, and being a Winchester comes with all the pain and guilt Dean and Sam have been dealing with for their entire lives, without nearly as much time to learn how to handle it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Difficult Life

**Author's Note:**

> A short drabble that sparked from my love of protective!dean

It had only been a few months since the angels fell. At first the most frustrating part was not the human tendencies, or the need for sleep, it was the fact that every day the sun rose and every night it set the same. The world kept turning and everything stayed running, despite the angel’s entire world having fallen apart in one fatal swoop. Castiel managed to keep the overwhelming guilt hidden away and make the Winchesters believe he was doing so well, but even with all his discreetness the two had begun to wonder.

He hated the night; he despised he endless limbo between struggling to fall asleep and then struggling to wake up. Cas was so tired of the occasional nightmares and his wandering mind when he was supposed to be unconscious. So many of his nights were spent outside Dean’s bedroom door in the bunker, his back pressed against the wall opposite and his hands picking at the carpet threads.

One evening after visiting the store and grabbing food at a diner, they all got in the car to head back, and Cas began to think. His mind fast forwarded to what would happen when they returned, how they would all disappear into their respective bedrooms and Cas would be alone in his own. The loneliness and boredom would dissolve into terror before he managed to fall asleep, and the nightly cycle would continue once more. This particular night it all seemed to be just a bit too much, and Cas found himself doubled over in the back seat of the Impala, biting his tongue as hard as he could in an attempt to hide his strangled sobs from Sam and Dean.

It took them both a minute to register that Cas was crying in the backseat. Sam sat silently in the passenger seat, his eyes furrowed together as he determinedly stared out the windshield into the darkness. Dean, however, was driving as fast as he could, and fighting back the pain shooting through his chest at the sound of Cas. Unused to the act of crying, especially this uncontrollably, Cas’ sobs  sounded more like a collection of whimpers and gasps, and every single one bit cold into Dean like Colorado in January.

The radio hummed in and out of a weak signal, but the faint songs weren’t enough to drown out the angel’s cries. By the time they made it home, everyone in the car was completely silent, as if the first person to speak might be thrown out of the car. Sam wasted no time getting out, however, which left Dean and Cas alone. The former released his death grip on the wheel as he turned back to the angel. Cas looked at him through big blue eyes as he sat drowning in his trench coat, silently apologizing for breaking down in the way the Winchesters never seemed to. Dean took a deep breath and looked away, flinging open his door and stepping out into the night.

What Cas didn’t expect next was his own door opening, and strong arms taking his and pulling him out onto the pavement. Bright green eyes looked into his through the midnight air and Dean straightened Cas’ tie.

“I know it’s hard.” Dean gruffed, his voice thick and quiet. “I know it is. That’s not going to change.”

Cas let Dean man handle him as they stood across from each other, illuminated by the moon. Neither spoke as Dean pulled Cas together in an attempt to pull himself together, too.

“But Cas, Cas you gotta listen to me.” Dean pleaded, their faces close. “We’re gunna help you, okay? You’ve got to hang in there, Cas.” His voice was breaking in the most private way, and suddenly Cas realized just how difficult everything in Dean’s world had been.  

“Dean, I-“ Cas began to apologize, or at least explain, but Dean cut him off.

“No. Don’t say anything. I’ve got Sammy and I’ve got you and that’s it.” Dean growled through watery eyes, “Neither of you, not Sam and not you, will ever go through this shit alone.”

Dean lost whatever composure he had left as his face crumbled beneath Cas’ stare and it hit the latter like an avalanche that Dean had spent his entire life fighting the exact same feelings and still at that moment the hunter was most concered about him. And maybe, no one had ever told Dean that he didn't have to struggle with all this alone either. 

“I know, Dean. I know.” Cas cupped Dean’s cheek with his hand, watching the man break down beneath his fingers. “And we're never going to let you deal with things on your own either. We're all in this together, right?" Cas whispered. 

"Right, Cas. You're family now, and that means nobody has to be alone." 


End file.
